I Made It

Sometimes I think I’ve died and gone to Simple Bitch Hell, as the ABG show puts it. In reality there are just a couple invalids coating a mediocre place with their rancid personalities.

He’s/She’s been speaking AT the kids since 6:30 BC, I’ve texted one too many times this year. There are so many people that don’t understand students are the ones who should speak, not the teacher. You’re crafting childrens’ brains so how can you know where they stand, how they learn, how they’re listening IF YER MEAN MUG AIN’T SHUT ONCE FER THIRDY MINUTES. There’s one teacher in particular, too selfish to lend her own ears, so how can she expect people to want to listen to her?

Can’t.

At maximum Me Capacity, she has said “I/me/my/myself/mine” a tumultuous clusterfuck of reflexive, absolute possessive and possessive pronouns too many times to count.

But then I did count: 26 times in 1 minute, 83 times in 10 minutes and “fuckIcan’teven…” in one day.

This is the perfect case-study for working in Human Resources or mediation. Of course there will be people with problems, and I think we’d all be better off without judging each other. Love is universal, yes I believe in all of that. There are an infinite amount of possibilities in solving arguments or soothing things. However, I think some people have bad lives for a reason that they usually can work on, mentally at least. He or she has been ill-equipped to handle hard work, I get it… but I don’t want to. Hearing a boy, age 22, say he has never really had a real job and dislikes anything that requires effort was the best form of disappointment and just the right way for me to feel gratitude for the lucky life I’ve had. I’ve worked so hard, but so little in comparison to others. And I care about that. I want to work the hardest; to carry the burden. Some people have no interest in making the world a better place- they just want to ruin it… or fuck it in most cases.

Perhaps I’m a hippy in disguise- I believe in protecting the world. But I also believe in protecting people, the “cancer” of the earth. It’s so hard to balance the two right? We just keep taking and taking from the planet, and we are so clueless as to how we can give life back. I’m going to pause for a minute. I’ve just bashed my ugly face against this building framework.
BrainacheBy the way, I understand angry-red-head-girl on a molecular level now. Of course you’re angry, ARHG, being treated like a stupid monkey or piece of meat, tugged every which way until somebody decides “They’re going to sing ‘Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes’ after getting a surprise two-hour show of babies dancing poorly.” I’ve decided to change her nickname to Surprisingly-Genuine-Red-Head-Girl, upper case even! Because she reminds me of what I would be would I have chosen China as my life, I will try to get her something nice from the West. She appreciates dance, art, namely all the things I appreciate in the West. We’ll see.

I haven’t got the time to write any more, and I feel that this post has gone nowhere. Mostly I’m angry. I’m angry because of how fake everyone is. You think America is bad- guess again. Chinese face is one of the most irritating emotional things foreigners will ever deal with, though there are so many things to compete with it in the world, of course. but you know what? I still learned as much as I could and tried the best to make my actions something people would cherish and learn from, and at best my actions could bring something for others to learn to improve our world. Not to be a sap, of course.

In summary, I tried my damndest to improve my surroundings, not just complain about them. It still sucked, but it certainly wasn’t hopeless.
(Thanks, MJ:
“If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.”)

I promise I’ll make a better food or friend post next time.
I just want my few readers to know my struggles about China before I celebrate what was good about it.

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About Jonny Blevins

Be proud of who you are, wherever you are. I'm sure other dimensions and worlds exist. Trying to be photogenic is gross. Weak stomachs are weird. I talk about my hypothetical Chow Chow, Fa Mulan, regularly. Handan, China is like West Virginia with more Chinese people. Pittsburgh is alright. I'm there now.
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One Response to I Made It

  1. Julie says:

    You rock! That’s all. 🙂

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